When I was approached with the idea of becoming an Amazon affiliate and incorporating products into my writing, I wasn’t thrilled. I hate selling things and trying to pretend that I’m not. But I figured, if I was going to do it, I might as well sling the shit that’s changed my life. And if I make a buck off it, sweet. So beware, if you click the link and buy this sweet ass book, I’ll make like ten cents. (Thanks, bro!) But you’ll end up getting much more out the deal because this book is amazing. Truly.
My first read through of the book (yes, I’ve read it more than once) was rough. There were a few thoughts I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. But the main ideas came through and those, THOSE I could really get behind.
The whole idea is that we all have a framework through which we view life, through which we live our lives. That framework is built as we grow up, through parenting, family life, social experiences, etc. It’s important that we take a step back and analyze that framework and question whether or not it’s something that we want to guide our thoughts and lives. What is serving us in a positive way? What leads us in the wrong direction? How can we re-frame our outlook to create a healthier life?
It is along these lines that the author suggests four main ideas to help guide you to a more positive life and healthier relationships – with yourself and others.
Be Impeccable With Your Word
The first thing the author suggests is to be impeccable with your word. He stresses the power that our words hold, which I’ve experienced to be so true. Negative and critical words in the workplace or at home can be so detrimental. And our inner voice, our own inner critic, can be just as harmful. Being mindful of our words can create a huge shift in our lives.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
This was a hard one for me but is also one that has had the greatest impact. Understanding that other people’s actions and attitudes reflect more about themselves that it does about me, has helped me to stay true to myself and not be affected by the words and actions of those around me. It has freed me to stay in my lane, so to speak, and not become entangled in other’s negativity.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Once I began paying attention to this, I was blow away at how many assumptions I was making on a regular basis. I assumed other people just knew how I felt or why I felt that way. I assumed they had all the information they needed in a given situation. I realized that I needed to communicate more on my end and also ask questions if I didn’t have enough information, too. This has been a game changer in my relationships!
Always Do Your Best
At first, I didn’t like this one. I’m hard enough on myself as it is. But the author encourages us to realize that our best will look different from day to day. If we’re sick, he suggests, our best will look different that when we’re healthy. When we’re tired, stressed, etc. – all these things play into what our best might look like. I began to just take it moment by moment, asking myself what my best looked like at the time and striving for that, not being hard on myself when it wasn’t as good as what I thought it should be or what I assumed (hello!) was what others think it should be.
I have these four things written down all over the place – on a sticky note at my desk, on a note in my phone, scribbled in the notebook I keep by my bed. They are great reminders that keep me focused and help me to realign with what matters in life.
If you’re looking for a quick read that’s packed full of wisdom, this is the book for you. And hey, if you don’t like it, you won’t have wasted much time on it. You can read it in a day (or if you’re like me, keep it around to re-read it!). If you do get it, or already have it, let me know what you think! How have these ideas helped or challenged you?